I read a lot of obituaries—sometimes for research, sometimes for curiosity, and other times to pay my respects in a way. I read one of a local woman who recently passed. She was 95 years old. Ninety-five. That’s nearly ten decades, and longer than most people live. Just by her lifespan alone, she must have had an extraordinary life. One would hope.

However, her obituary was rather clinical with only a few pieces of cursory information: place of birth and upbringing, a brief mention of her children, where she worked for 25 years, who preceded her in death, and details about the service. It was 270 words—similar to a page in a book. There’s nothing outright wrong with the length, as it basically checked all the boxes. Obituaries are typically written in rushed moments, sometimes by people who barely even knew the deceased, and specific details can be hard to locate on short notice and under the circumstances. It’s also not meant to be a book-length biography; it’s a summary of someone’s life.

Yet, after reading her obituary, I have no idea who that woman was. There was absolutely nothing about her hobbies, interests, likes, or passions. Not one sentence. How did she spend her time? Who was she as a person? There was little in the obituary separating her from countless others who have died. Concise is efficient, but brevity in an obituary can be a disservice.

She was practically anonymous. And that’s a shame.

Now, maybe the printed program at her funeral was full of anecdotes, photos, and memorable tidbits about her life. If so, that’s wonderful. But her obituary is the document more people will actually see—if they even see anything—and it got me thinking.

We all die; to live is to die and death is a part of life. Once we’re on the other side, our lives get summarized into a neat, little box—both literally and figuratively—and life goes on…well, for the ones still living. There’s very little evidence that we were even here.

And that obituary? Maybe we should write our own. Not only would it save our loved ones from the task, it would be more personal. After all, we know ourselves better than anyone else does. If an obituary is one of the final things we have in this world, part of our lasting legacy, we should be the one who decides what goes in it. Consider writing your obituary now and then updating it annually or as needed. Do it as part of your last will and testament. Don’t embellish it, but perhaps it will help you manifest the life you want.

Life passes us by and much of it is rather mundane—make your life exciting, and live the life you dream of living. Write your obituary now and make it spectacular. Then, when it eventually appears in the local newspaper, people will read it admiringly and wish they knew you. They’ll say, “Wow, that person lived an amazing, full life.“

And that’s perhaps the best compliment you can ever receive.

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Blog post by Jason S. Sullivan, 01-07-26